Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Can we talk about boobs please?

I've got something on my mind. Boobs! More specifically, nipples. Even more specifically, nipple placement.

Have you seen the movie Babies yet? There are some free-range boobies in that movie! But that's not what this post is about. But if you want to see crawling naked dusty babies reaching for very weathered war-torn nips, than go see it. Really, the movie was very cute, I'm just being crass.

So, I'm pushing 30, and I have large knockers. I'm a D cup, so I know about the trials and tribulations that come with being well endowed. I also know that gravity is not so kind to my kind. I mean, my boobs aren't like Ms Chokesondick from South Park, but they're not 18 yr old boobs either. This is to say, that I no longer have the coveted up-turned boobs anymore...and I'm ok with that. I think. What I'm not okay with is this.

Women who put their boobs into their bras and do no adjustment whatsoever. I may be the only one in this camp, but I'm willing to put myself out there. Here's the deal. When you put your bra on, you adjust your boobs a smidge right? When I put on bras, especially sports bras, I make sure my nipples line up. I don't want one rogue nip in the south-40 and the other one all sitting perky, cause if it's cold, it's so so wrong.

I liken this to looking at a cross eyed person, or someone with a wandering eye, bless their hearts, but it's awkward. Which boob do I focus on ya' know?

So please, for humanity, next time you put on a bra adjust your boobs so both eyes are looking straight forward, m-kay?

13 comments:

  1. L. O. L.

    (adjusting my nips in my sports bra as I type)

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  2. You know what I thought about when I read the first part? How shocked I was when I found out there was more than 1 type of nipple shape. True! Not even joking.
    1. round
    2. cherry
    3. bullet
    4. inverted

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  3. Oh Maw Gaw.

    This is so damn funny! I am obsessed with my boobs. I talk to my mom about them all the time. It used to embarrass her, now she just rolls her eyes and nods her head.

    When my boobs are finally where they're *supposed* to be, my nips are totally in the wrong place. It's a never-ending-breast-war which always finds me on the losing side.

    -jafg

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  4. My boobs...there's a sore subject. After 130 pounds lost they're more like tube socks with sand in the toes. I dont' have to move them to zip my pants but that day is coming my friend! I haven't lost much in cup size...I'm still a DDD (or E depending on brand) but now they're staring at the floor. They still look good tucked (and adjusted) into a bra but there's a reduction/lift in my future.
    *sigh* boobs.

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  5. That is too funny.

    TMI ALERT: Sometimes, when the girls aren't cold, I have to do something to make sure that I can see them to MAKE SURE that they're lined up. Because I'm with you...mine are big enough that just because they're in there doesn't mean that they're facing the same direction.

    For the record, it is TOTALLY like a lazy eye. I can't concentrate when people walk around like that.

    And I don't even like boobs.

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  6. Large cup here too. Add to that 2 babies breastfed for 7 months. It's an exercise to put the girls ina bra and in proper position. I have to bra shop right now (-30 pounds) and it sucks. I HATE it.

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  7. My nips tend to hang out the top of my bras. It's rather annoying. Anyone else have that problem?

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  8. "I liken this to looking at a cross eyed person, or someone with a wandering eye"

    That statement is too funny... poor nipples. I agree, I do adjust, but sometimes - things still end up outta whack depending on what you're doing (aka exercising).

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  9. I'm a large nippled gal myself and I am always trying to parallel park the damn things! It would be easier if they were close to being the same size. I can't help but miss how damn cute my tits were before I reproduced. Oh well. The kid is cuter than my rack ever was. Thanks for making me feel normal(er). Snort.

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  10. bahhhaaahaaaa thats so fricking funny!! I do exactly the same thing re: adjusting and if i see someone else with asymetrical nips i do tend to stare lol

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  11. i actually laugh out loud when i see nipples pointing in every direction. love big boobs DD all the way. hoping they dont leave me as i work out

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  12. I came back just for the comments, they're as funny as the post!

    -jafg

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  13. After I adjust I make my dh look to see if they are going the same direction from his view too. He teases me but I am very concerned that my nips go the right direction. Thanks for making me feel normal.

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