I accept checks.

I’ve realized something, and it only took $20,000 to figure it out! HOLY SHIT, that’s the first time I’ve even roughly estimated how much I spend on counseling. {Enter} sinking gut feeling!

I’ve been seeing a counselor for about a year and a half now, and I recommend you get yourself one. Seriously, cause you don’t have to be a nut-job to really benefit. We don’t always talk about deep therapy stuff, sometimes we just laugh and use profanity, and sometimes that’s all the help I need for the week. If I could clone my Laura, I’d send her out to all the hurting people in the world and she would mix you up some hippie tea and you would feel better. But I can’t, so instead I’ll share with you a little secret I’ve come to learn over the past 18 months.

If you’re searching for the reason why you’re fat, stop looking. Let me dig into this a little deeper. I’m not saying you should avoid looking, no not at all. Search brothers & sisters, search! Just don’t get stuck in the looking process.

For a long time I thought there was some magic tragic event I had to uncover and when I uncovered it, all my problems would go away. Was it my first sexual experience? Was it my mother, my father, my daycare days, my parent’s divorce, was it being around alcoholics as a kid, was it my teenage years, was I too tall, my hair too wild? Was it all of these things, or none, or a mix? WHAT was wrong with me? I had baggage, I still carry around some luggage, a nice six piece set thankyouverymuch!

I’ve discussed all these topics with my Laura, well except being too tall as a kid and my hair being an untamed beast for the better part of my child hood. I’ve sifted through my life pretty damn good, so why wasn’t the weight coming off?

If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to do the work mentally. There’s no way around that, but… you just plain ole’ have to get to work physically. You have to go to the gym even when you have cramps and a headache (yesterday for me). You have to go when you feel like your eyelids are slammed shut from lack of sleep. You have to go when it’s 110 degrees out and when it’s -9. You have to go even if it’s 8:00 at night, or 4 fu**ing 30 in the morning. Whatever it takes to get it done, YOU have to do it. No amount of searching for the cause will replace hard work.

I’ve also learned that there is no single reason any of us are overweight. It’s a complex cocktail of emotion, hurt, anger, pain and shit. And if by chance you sort through your cocktail of crap, even then, it doesn’t mean your life is going to change overnight. You won’t wake up and feel like a changed person. Well, you may, but it’s not long-lasting. So stop searching and start doing.

And when life gives you a cocktail of emotion, hurt, anger, pain and shit…take out the shit, add a twist of lime, drink your cocktail, then hit the gym!

Go…NOW!

PS-that will be $120.


PSS-Virtual Biggest Loser starts June 1st! Dont' make me hunt you down for payment, I don't like confrontation. If you're serious about participating, please get your payments to me asap. If I don't have your money by May 31st then you won't be entered in. Unless you've made other arrangements with me.

PSSS- I will need a starting photo from everyone and your starting weight. You can submit them to me anytime between 6/28-6-31. Ready....GO!