Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Body for Life-Day 38

Well, I'm back. Physically I feel ehh. Emotionally I feel ehh. I don't feel fantastic, but I don't feel bad either. Sounds like someones got a case of the Mondays. I feel like it's a Monday, so I'm allowed to say that.

Highlights included:
Going straight from the airport to the gym when I arrived. I even changed into my workout clothes in the rental car facility. I had a moment of "who have I become?"

Hiking Squaw Peak with my best friend. It was challenging for me and she looked as though she was just taking a stroll through a field of daises! Whatever!

Overall I think I did pretty well for my first trip. I planned ahead most of the time and chose healthy foods. I definitely don't feel like the trip revolved around food and that was a big achievement for me.

One thing I really noticed was that yesterday when I was driving to the airport to leave I got really homesick and part of me really missed AZ. When you live somewhere for 27 years nearly every turn in the road holds a memory. Even if it's not a super fantastic memory, it still makes me miss that time. As I was starting to feel down I noticed my thoughts turning to food. I was thinking, where am I going to eat, what am I going to eat to numb this. I actually am beginning to recognize how I completely abuse/abused food and used it as a drug to numb virtually every emotion. Happy? Let's eat! Sad? Let's eat! Anxious? Let's eat! Depressed? Let's eat! Excited? Let's celebrate and eat! For me, food was like a constant anti-depressant. I am NOT knocking anti-depressants, I know there are people who really do need them, but for me when I was on them for a couple months it was like it just made me numb. It didn't "fix" anything it just made me feel even...too even. Zombie in a food coma even.

I'm learning to actually feel my emotions and...just feel them, that's it. Not try and change them or alter my mood or my reaction, just feel whatever it is, then move on. I did a fairly good job at this yesterday. I had a sandwich...my kryptonite! I didn't run to McDonalds, or grab a chocolate bar, but I didn't have the most healthy thing I could find either. Overall, it's a step in the right direction considering the circumstances.

So...moving on with the week! My goal is 3 lbs. I'm going to have to bust ass if I want to achieve this.

Thanks to everyone who reads this! This online weight loss blog community is so great!

3 comments:

  1. Katy... I just spent 30 minutes reading your blog. It is inspiring/funny/helpful/real. It sounds like we have very similar pasts and similar attitudes toward food. It is comforting to know I am not the only one.
    I have known for the past few years that I need to get my life, working out, and eating back into control. After reading your blog, I think I can do it. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Just discovered your blog! I'm really enjoying it - if you get a chance check out mine - www.fatbutchanging.blogspot.com

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