Yesterday I counted calories and worked out hard for one whole HOUR on the eliptical. Is it me, or is working out for an hour, like the magic potion of workout times. 30min workout=feeling great, 60min workout=feeling like superwoman. I was all pumped to watch some good tv at the gym, but all they had on was the news and sports. I think I'm going to try and get them to turn on some good girl tv. I think it would go over well considering at least half the people at the gym are women. HGTV anyone? Throw me a bone people!
Yesterday I also had a good chat with Erin. Some of you may remember the many times I've talked about her. She's my best friend and we affectionately call eachother "sis". So the sis and I were chatting yesterday and she said a lot of things that stood out to me, but I'll just share two things.
1)Onion Rings Are Not The Party
We were talking about feeling deprived or eating out like it's your last meal. Erin is tall, thin and doesn't struggle with her weight, but she's reciently lost like 20 lbs because she was feeling too mushy and uncomfortable. She's not a food addict, but she still gets what it's like to really really want to eat the onion rings and say no in the name of a body you want. So we chatted about when you're out for dinner with friends and you're like, what's the BEST thing on the menu...like it's the last time you'll ever eat. As if the main event is the food, and not the company, and as if you'll have less of a good time if you order salmon and veggies, vs a burger and onion rings. Onion rings are not the party. I'm going to make a shirt and give you each one. It's a funny statement, but it's really true.
Which brings me to the second important thing that she said that woke me up a bit
2)I've not only been using food to medicate myself in a distructive way, but I've also convinced myself that food (good, healthy food) will make me better-happier. You know that book, food is your best medicine? Well, for me, food just can't be medicine. For better or worse. Now I know what the author of that book was trying to say, and I agree. But for me, I just need to get out of the mindset that food will cure ANYTHING. Food can help create physical health and help distroy it, but it's not medicine. Erin asked me when I feel most relaxed with food. Example would be: Do I feel more content when I eat a burger and fries, or a salad. The truth is, neither. I'm anxious around food in every way. I feel really relaxed WHILE eating the burger, and after...we know how that goes. Then, WHILE I'm eating the healthy meal, I feel anxious, angry, deprived, less than, and then after I feel better. Either scenario, food is never a pleasurable experience from start to finish. She guessed before I even said it that neither eating healthy or bad gave me any sort of long standing relaxed feeling, and suggested that since food is really something that I have a f'd up relationship with, it would just be more benefical to eat healthy. Sort of like, you're going to feel discontent somewhere along the process, so just choose the one that's not distructive. Maybe it was just the way it was presented, but it makes sense. This is almost exactaly like the time when I was woahing is me about how long it was going to take to lose weight. She said, the time is going to pass regardless of what you do, so you mine as well do it. Ah ha! You're so logical sis!
So to recap:
1)Onion rings are not the party-I'm trademarking this, haha
2)Food is not medicine
3)Time is going to pass regardless of what you do, what you eat, how you act. Make the best of it.