Friday, September 10, 2010

Regrets, ahh Ahh, AHH (name that tune)

Regrets are a funny thing. Ultimately I'd say I have none because I'm pretty darn pleased with the state of affairs around my part of the world, but if I had the chance to do some things differently, I maybe would have.

At the tippy top of my list would be to go back and attend a 4 year university out of state and live on campus. Why? I dunno, too much Felicity watching maybe? I wish I would have been able to see the value in that experience when I was in High School. My parents never pushed college and while part of me wishes they would have been on top of me about it, I know I would have been all, don't chain me down MOM, I'll do what I WANT, I'll backpack through Europe even though I don't even own a backpack and I hate dirty small hotels! Tell me to do one thing, and I'll probably do the opposite. Ultimately I settled on attending a small art school and it's worked out pretty well for me so far. But that 4 year Notre Dame dream dies hard!

Right below the 4 year university is being really really ridiculously good at swimming. I swam competitively for years and got to be pretty ok. I wasn't super sweet great, but I wasn't dead last either. I knew I had a natural ability to swim coming from a father who had was seated 1st in the state of NY. I also was a bit cocky, thinking I knew I could be great if I REALLY wanted to turn it on. How shit face bold is that? Luckily for me, I never voiced that inner dialogue, but still. Truth was, I didn't want it enough back then...and there in lies the regret. I wished I would have tried harder and given myself the opportunity to be great. But I was more focused on sinning with boys.

Now...years later, I realize that even if I went back to school and attended a 4 year state university it wouldn't be the same. I'm an almost 30 something with a husband and I no longer get off on the idea of breaking my Mormon chastity vows and dry humping. (It doesn't count if it's over the clothes.) But swimming? Well, I've decided to give myself another shot. I'm not looking to try and become an Olympian or anything, but boy would it be nice to compete in a regional meet and place in the top 3. I have no idea if that's possible. I may feel like I'm really good and still be not good enough to beat (x) but I really want to try this time and see what happens. I've been toying around with the idea of joining a competitive masters swim team for a long time-years-and yesterday I finally did it. I'm thrilled at the idea of being good at something again (physically) without my foot injury holding me back. It's not easy being a cripple in Colorado where everyone is a svelte gazelle training for their next marathon and galloping up a 14er on a day's notice. But that's neither here nor there.

So, I'm going to give myself a shot at kicking ass. If you could have a do over, what would it be?


  1. I would like to have tried baseball. My love is football but I am not big enough to play past the high school level. Baseball is kinda an equalizer. A short stocky guy can still hit the ball has far as a tall guy, etc.

  2. I wish I had lived on campus as well! And I also was a swimmer, but we moved away from a school with a pool when I was n 6th grade. drat. then I started getting fat...imagine that. LOL. Love the name of your blog! Question - what is a pescitarian?

    <3 Katie

  3. I lived on campus... it was nothing special! I just came across your blog, I love the name ... perfect!

  4. hey!! you have a wonderful blog. thanks for sharing your weight lost progress here. keep it up and never give up. you can do it.

  5. i think that i would have loved to travel with jeffrey before the kiddos arrived. i'm happy that we had our boys at the age that we were (quasi-young?) but it would have been great to have the chance to visit some countries overseas without them. i hope that when they are a bit older we'll take teh family all together, but i think we missed a chance to do it just the two of us!