Does talking about blood pressure make me like really old?

We used to have this Doctor, and he was a bad Doctor. So he needed a naughty nurse to whip-wait, wrong story.

We used to have this Dr. and he was the worst! He wouldn't listen to me, he was short with me, he was condescending and rude. To make matters worse, he was ugly and hairy and looked like he smelled. I never had a fear of doctors until this jerk and now it seems like I just can't shake that anxiety. Let me back up and tell you what happened.

First Offense- I went in to see this doctor for something totally normal. Happens to us ladies sometimes, you go in get a pill...ya' in, ya' out. First thing he askes me..."do you have diabetes?" I was like uhh no. So he asks "how do you know?" Um, seriously? At this point in my life I was chunky, but not like wow you obviously have the sugars! I wasn't necessarily offended that he asked if I have diabetes, just that he seemed to not believe me when I told him no.

Second Offense-I go in to see him because I had what I thought was the stomach flu or some crap. I go in, get weighed, get my blood pressure taken and turns out it was a bit high. I had NEVER had even slightly high bp before. I didn't even know what was normal or not normal because I never had paid attention to it. So I go in and the first thing he says was "if you don't get your blood pressure in check, I'm going to put you on medication." Whaaaaa wha what what?!? I was like, what was my blood pressure? I think it was 137/88. Not saying that's great, but it's no where near high enough to warrant medication (found that out later.) I remember telling him that this was the first time it was high and again he looked at me like I was lying! The thing was, it was true. I didn't know the first thing about blood pressure. But after that little meeting we had, I knew everything about it.

I'm one of those WebMd types. Or I used to be. After this doctor visit, I learned all the crazy shit about bp and heart disease and was convinced I had some sort of heart abnormality. I started to get heart palpitations, chest pains, tightness. Basically either I was having a heart attack or it was a panic attack. I'll let you guess which one it was. All this happened back in 2005 and it wasn't until this year in January that I had enough guts to go get it all checked out. My heart is fine and even though I got palpitations daily for about 5 years, I've had almost none since I found out that I do not have some crazy heart defect. But every time I go to the doctor I get that anxious panic feeling in my chest and through my whole body. I dread getting weighed, I dread even more getting my blood pressure taken. It's high EVERY TIME! My heart starts to race...like most of my heart rates are 90ish. Even though my resting heart rate is normally around 75. They're always like, is your heart rate always this high? And I'm all no, I'm a freak, sorry for the sweating.

So in hopes of making a long story, long-ish. I'll try and wrap this up! I was supposed to go get that foot shot on Wed. About an hour before the appointment I start to get worked up. Just driving there, my heart starts to pound. I'm like, calm the F down Katy!!! But I can't. I'm not even moving and my heart rate feels like it does when I'm on a light bike ride. So I get there, check in and the lady is all....you're appointment is Friday, not today. I had instant relief, but then was pissed that I'd have to come back and do this all over again.

Anyone have any tips for me today so I don't go into my usual "heart attack patient" mode?