I've had two breakdowns in the past week because of the scale. I'm eating healthy and clean and working out 6 days a week. Then I step on the scale and it's all like, you're not good enough, you're still fat, this isn't working, you're no good, you'll never lose weight...and on and on and on.
So, today after my second breakdown where I was in tears at the Transformation center, I've decided the scale and I need to officially break up. That damn thing undermines all the positive progress I've made in the past month. It undermines every last bit of it and it's causing me so much stress. SO much stress. I, along with all my coaches, really believe it's the stress that's keeping this weight on me right now. That, along with the constant reminder that I'm not losing weight which is making me second guess this whole thing.
The first two weeks of this transformation were really fantastic. I was for ONCE, trusting this process and just going with it. The past two weeks have been me just white knuckling it and being almost painfully perfect, hoping I could literally will the scale into submission. The truth is, I have no idea why the scale didn't go down. It could be a whole host of things, but I just need to enjoy this process and let the weight on the scale take care of itself.
The scale has been the great and powerful Oz in my life for so long, so I'm not gonna lie, this is really really hard for me to give up, but it has to be done.
So to kick this new "non scale" world off , I'm going to say all the ways the scale did not determine my success this month.
1) My blood pressure went from 140/90 to 124/76
2) My resting heart rate went from the high 80's to 68
3) I lost 2.5 inches from my waist
4) I am getting so strong and starting to see definition in my arms and legs. I can incline dumbell press 35's and it's sort of my "party trick"of sorts at the Transformation center. People seem to be "wow'd" by my growing strength. 35lb dumbbells in each hand are freekin' HEAVY, but it ain't no thang. Just kidding, they still totally kill me, but I can bust out 10.
5) My determination throughout these past 4 weeks has really impressed me. Not every day has been great mentally, but no matter what I've felt, I've still done the work and not fallen off the wagon and I'm really happy about that.
So, in short, F-you, scale.