The post about nothing

-I hope I do something fun this weekend

-I have an appointment with my counselor today. I'm looking forward to it, but not, because it reminds me that I still need help. I wonder if I'll always need help.

-Our front garden got cleaned up yesterday and now we're not the worst yard on the block anymore. We're thinking of starting a vegetable garden on our back patio, except it's August, and soon it will be cold and what can you plant in the winter except root vegetables? Can you even plant those? So many gardening questions.

-I hate cleaning the kitchen. It's like, I clean it, and then I make dinner and it's dirty all over again! Oh boy if you saw my kitchen right now, you'd totally judge me.

-I go back and forth with the idea of having children. Most days I think I want them, some days I think, why would I want to disturb my life? Right now I feel like I really want a child. Something about approaching 30 and Scott approaching 40 is giving me a new perspective. Last night we laid there in bed coming up with funny names to name our potential boy. I said Frank, jokingly, and Scott said he'd call him Fronk and then we decided we'd speak to him only in a French accent and I told him I'd decorate his baby room with an Eiffel tower wall decal and with a faux french cafe decor. We both agreed that we'll regularly sing the David Bowie song "kooks" to our child.

-The night before last I woke up all flustered because I thought a fly had flown into my ear. I was about 99% certain that it was going to burrow itself so deep it'd end up somewhere in my brain. I woke scott up and was like, GET UP a fly just flew into my ear. He was like, you're crazy, no it didn't. So I said, for REAL, GET UP! So we went into the bathroom and he looked and there was nothing. Unconvinced, I took tweezers to my ear (gently) and pulled out nothing. Then put a q-tip in there, still nothing. I'm now like 85% sure nothing is in there. Yes, I admit, part of me is scared there's a bug in my ear. I haven't web-md'd anything yet though...so you see, progress is being made!

-The other night, I was eating and realized I was satisfied. I said to myself "stop eating now." So I stopped and thought, why do I still want to eat? I sat there, for a good minute thinking about it. All I came up with was "it tastes good, so I want to continue." WTF people? Sometimes I feel so out of control.