Monday, August 16, 2010

Anxiety

Last Monday I was eating dinner at Mad Greens. Best salad place evah! So I'm eating and eating and enjoying my food and I realize, hey, I'm satisfied! So I thought I should stop eating. So I did for like 30 seconds. I looked at all the food left in front of me and in that moment I decided to ask myself, why do I still want to eat? So, I'm asking myself why I feel compelled to continue eating. The only thing I could come up with was "it tastes good." Annoyed that it wasn't something more profound, I continued to eat.

Last Friday I decided to try it again. I was eating lunch and about 3/4 of the way through, I realized I'd had enough. So I stopped, realized I wanted to still eat, and asked myself why. Here's a snipit of my inner dialogue.

Katy-you should stop
Crazy Kat-no
Katy-but you're not hungry anymore
Crazy Kat-I don't care
Katy-this is a chance to see what comes up
Crazy Kat-I don't care
Katy-You should stop
Crazy Kat-I don't wanna
Katy-Just put your sandwich down at least
Crazy Kat-ok
Katy-How do feel?
Crazy Kat-Fucking anxious!!
Katy-Why?
Crazy Kat-I don't know
Katy-Why?
Crazy Kat-I DON'T KNOW!

Here's what I didn't do-I didn't eat! I have no freekin' clue why I got so anxious. It was really uncomfortable and not fun, but I just made myself sit there in front of the food and not eat. After a few minutes the anxiety went away. Holy shit, it worked! So I threw my food away and got the hell out of there.

Here's the thing I forgot though. Even if I had come up with some answer to why I was anxious or why I still wanted to eat...I still have to make the choice to eat or not to eat. Food does comfort me. From what, I'm not 100% sure of. And while I think it's a totally worthy goal of trying to figure out WHY we eat, it still comes down to will we make good choices, or not.

Even though I'm not dead set on finding out the "why", I'd still like to see if I can gain some insight. Plus, if nothing else, feeling anxious and not eating over it made me feel like super woman for a few hours. And who doesn't want that feeling?

Has anyone out there gained any more understanding of why they eat when they're not hungry?

7 comments:

  1. I haven't been able to figure this out for myself, yet. To be honest, I still eat everything in front of me - especially if I know it's still within my daily calorie target. I just can't explain it. I think I need to start having that internal conversation with myself!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kudos on the convo! (And great post!)

    I haven't been able to delve into the psychology of my eating habits because I think it'll be too exhausting. What I want to do when I lose about 25 lbs left to lose is get a personal trainer. Perhaps I should add a good therapist to the list, too.

    -jafg

    ReplyDelete
  3. ["when I lose about 25 lbs left to lose" should read "when I have about 25 lbs left to lose"]

    [-jafg again.]

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do you think it is programed in you? As a child most parents told their kids to "eat everything on their plate".... I know I had issues with this also! I felt if I did not eat the whole meal I was wasting money, wasting food, etc. I have learned that is not the way to lose weight. Now, when I go out to eat, I ask for the left over container before I start eating...then I put approx. 1/2 to 2/3 of the meal in the to go container...then I eat my meal. This has helped me tremendously! I don't analyze why....it probably would make me crazy! I think you will get to that point also...you know you are not hungry...it is just a habit to eat everything on our plates! Good Luck with this...I know you have it in you...you are one determined lady!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Over time I have learned and re-learned how I react to food. I had to correct the "clean your plate" mentality. I know my triggers - bufetts, party spreads, etc. I know I eat wehn I don't feel good, stress, boredom etc. Know this doesn't mean I have control. Awareness - Yes, Control - Not yet.
    Amy at findingfitme.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Like others said, eating everything on your plate is a habit, just like waking up late or getting a daily morning latte. Why do we do it? Because it feels good and tastes good, that's why.

    Another thing to consider is what you're eating. When you eat whole foods like a banana, your body can naturally sense when you are done. It's not common to eat a banana, love it so much you eat another and another and another. But it's very likely to eat an entire bag of chemically-manufactured "food" like doritos, which shut off the receptors in our brains that tell us, "okay, a couple handfuls of chips is enough now. we don't need to eat an entire bag." When you empower yourself by restricting what you put on your plate (no chips, no "pretend" food), you find that you are naturally full before you've finished everything on your plate. And like Amy said, preventing yourself from walking into landmines like buffets and parties where you can't control yourself as much, you put yourself ahead of the game. For me, it's alcohol. Even one beer encourages me to eat french fries or nachos or a plate of bruschetta... Cutting out the cocktails is my weightloss weapon. Preventing your misshaps will definitely make you feel like Super Woman.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My number 1 reason is always because it tastes good. I find that if I've bought a meal at a restaurant that isn't as good as I thought it would be I won't finish it because I'm not that bothered. But when it tastes good (I.E. Tacos!) I eat and eat and eat and eat until I'm so sick I want to throw up. Those are the time I eat only to taste the yummyness of the chinese, or the french fries. And I wish I had a tube that hooked to my throat and let me taste it only not let it go to my hips, thighs and bum. Disgusting I know. But alas this is how I think.

    ReplyDelete